Date a girl who reads

I love this piece written by Rosemarie Urquico . She sums up some of us who have always had a book in our hands for most of our lives. LOVE. LOVE.

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

Rosemarie Urquico

 

Muhaha

 

Of lil monsters who turn into butterflies and fly away

So y’all know that while I’m good at raving and ranting, I’m miles away from being creative with most day-to-day stuff, right? I sorely wish I was but hey, I can’t be good at everything, eh? To compensate for my lack of talent, the man above blessed the much-anguished parents with the lil monster aka as my sister.  The LM was the perfect child. She was mild-tempered albeit a little stubborn, sorta like a lil pug but definitely a much lesser pain in the a@# than me. Amongst other things, she painted like a dream, sung like a pro and while she was at it could build a house (she is an architect), design the interiors and landscape that messy lawn. And if you were really, really nice to her she’d could consent to show you how to line your potted plants so as to have them enjoy maximum sunlight and thrive. If the above wasn’t enough, since she always wanted to be a fashion designer and not an architect her sense of fashion was pretty kick-ass. Fortunate for me that she was drawing designs for the family tailor to sew while we were both still school. But unfortunate for her that I resorted to wearing all her clothes because they were better than mine. I must admit here that I was always complimented when I wore her clothes, so can you really blame me for letting the bad habit of borrowing persist?  The one problem with my bad habit was that if we both fought (which was only ALL the time), we’d end up having to stop sharing our stuff with each other and this always resulted in major chaos at home and greatly annoyed the much-fed up parents. Those were the wonder years, where we both fought and acted like we didn’t give a damn, where we didn’t speak for days,where we forced our parents to act as mediators and where we generally acted like the retarded children that we were. Those were the best years of our lives, it was just that I didn’t actually realize how much fun they were until I had left home and all that was most important to me at the ripe old age of 23.

Looking back, I was always the bossy, older sibling, who knew too much and acted as if she were Atlas and carried the burden of the world on her shoulders. Therefore, I always treated the LM as my minion/child and never my friend or equal. How could I? I was far superior in intellect and character in my skewed opinion! These were the fancy notions I held while growing up. All these ideas resulted in me picturing myself as the LM’s part-time mother and full-time protector incarnate. I remember an incident from our childhood when the LM took it upon herself to abuse a drunk, cycle-rickshaw fella who didn’t appeal to her. Now this fine man didn’t take too kindly to being called unfortunate names by a wee child and therefore in order to set the universe right decided that he was either going to give her a thrashing of her life or at the very least a verbal lashing of sorts. To give you some context here, this incident took place when me and the LM were riding our ‘rent-by-the hour’ bicycles in the neighborhood so when this burly man decided to give my sister a piece of his mind, I being the older one decided that I was going to have none of it. So, I urged the LM to run on to a neighbor’s place, while I circled furiously around the block hoping to distract the idiot and not get killed in the process.  I soon realized that  my brilliant idea was ridiculously silly because the angry man came hurtling behind me and my measly cycle at the speed of light, and it was here at this precise moment that I swore to kill the LM when I got my hands on her slimy neck. Anyhoo, by that time I circled the block with the crazed fella in tow, I think some kindly neighborhood aunty or uncle spotted me and intervened to rescue me and the cycle that I had abandoned in fear of dear life.

There were many such incidents while growing up and needless to say that the LM drove me up my neatly organized wall with her idiosyncrasies. One such quirk was her love for animals. Now, I love animals too, make that mostly dogs but the LM genuinely loved every specie of animal or insect that she laid her pretty eyes on.  She was always in a, ‘I need to rescue this animal phase’ all of her life.  These crazy phases involved her bringing home everything from earthworms, to insects (in a bottle) , butterflies, fish, dogs and what not.  Last I heard, as of four months ago she was raising hamsters called Whisky and Rum.  Now to give the LM credit, she is someone who the PETA should recruit as a spokesperson because she truly believes in living to the standards she sets for herself and my poor ma (unfortunately). She doesn’t use or wear any animal product, she refrains from eating meat and she does not think twice about rescuing dogs or goats off the street and taking them to nearest Blue Cross where she also tends to hang out quite a lot. Now for someone like me who was and is mortally afraid of all insects and reptiles, to share a living space with a sibling who brought these creatures home on a regular basis and sweet talked them to sleep, was a daily nightmare. But I bravely put up with it mostly for lack of choice of acquiring a fellow sibling-in-arms. (In my defense, I did ask my ma very nicely but she regretfully declined my offer to birth another child).

The LM and I as you must have deduced by now were as different as night and day. She liked her tea and I grew up on coffee until I decided that tea was better and that I should have switched a long time ago.  The LM was good at art and all that I could claim about my talent in art was my love for art history. As people we were poles apart and lived in our own worlds and yet the miracle was that we were connected by blood,  the mutual love and admiration for our goofy parents and our shared fondness for tea. We both didn’t think much of our ties when we lived with each other because our ‘otherness’ kept us from truly appreciating the warmth, comfort and shared memories that only a sibling can bring into our lives.  I left home when I was in my early twenties and the LM was a teenager and between then and now, a lot of things have changed for the two of us. For starters, the LM went from being a bratty teenager who only lived in her jeans and dressed in all black to a beautiful, intelligent young woman who carried herself with grace and dignity.  While I was away getting an education, the LM took over the role of the older sibling and was busy caring for the cuddly grandmother, running errands for the parents, helping out the cousins and generally making everyone’s world go around and stay in orbit.  Soon it occurred to me that it was ONLY me that hadn’t realized that the LM had really come into her own during my absence. She was no longer the shy child who was quiet in family gatherings  and kept to herself but was in actuality a boisterous,  beautiful butterfly who cheered everyone with her mere presence and character. Therefore, she was loved by one and all she came in contact with.

Now as it with all butterflies, she soon attracted the attention of a Prince Charming who enamored by the goodness he saw in her, decided to make her his forever. And that ladies and gentlemen, is the story of the LM who got engaged about two weeks ago in India. I couldn’t make it to the engagement but I was present at the event in spirit, if only to fight with the LM and frown upon her and her antics for one final time. I digress here but the whole point of the post was to wish her a wonderful future so,  ” Congrats, the LM. I mish you and love you. May you always be as happy. “- Your older and not-so-wise sis!

 

Is it really the end of our innocence?

 

Say Cheese for cheesy

I know, I know! I’ve been missing for a looong time. I admit it! I’ve been tired, busy, stressed, overworked, tired, busy… in the same vicious order. Since the best thing to do when you are stressed is to laugh, I ask you to take a look at someof of the things that have kept me smiling in the last terrible month…

This Calvin and Hobbes strip defines my entire school life!! I really wish I could have handed this strip to every single Math teacher I  had to endure in school. Now some of you might actually know how much those teachers would have appreciated my sense of humor

This one is courtesy the Bandragirl for all those angst ridden years in my twenties.

This last one simply because it made me lol.

 

You bring out the Tamilian in me

The love of the monsoon in me

The need for the razai during the mellow winters in me

The ludicrous, ubiquitous monkey cap in me

The comfort of cardamom tea and butter biscuits in me

 

You bring out the need for color  in me,

The kungumam on my forehead and the manjal on my legs in me

The gingely oil baths on Diwali dawns in me

The richness of the pattu pavadais and kanjeevaram sarees in me

The thangamana ponnu compliments in me

 

You define my memories,

The foamy waters of the bay of bengal

Inter-mingling with the Indian ocean and the Arabian sea in me

The catamaran rides with the meen avars

The swaying of the coconut trees by the rivers in me

 

You make me who I am,

The excess molzuga in my food in me

The spluttering of kadugu before every meal in me

The sweetness of tengai barfi during festivals in me

The tanginess of puzli in me

 

You bring out the dreamer in me,

The excitement of kilzhi rasi on the streets in me

The tiruppavai during margazhi in me

The vaikunta ekadesi fasts in me

The fascination with the sabarimalai processions in me

 

You turn me weak in the knees at the mention of,

Five course meals on vazha ilais

The weakness for vermicelli payasams in me

The desire for neer moru on hot summer days in me

The sourness of the elantha pazlam from the streets in me

 

You’ve awakened,

The pleasure of watching natyas in me

The yen for the afternoon sea-breeze in me

The sabha time-raskia in me

The love for malli poo in me

The inate inability to speak Hindi without an accent in me

The Aiyo’s! and the kalakaal’s! exclamations in me

The trysts with the pallankuzhi during childhood in me

The readiness to do the dappankoothu in me

The longing for sandy beaches in me

 

You bring out,

The love for a stolen mother-tongue in me

The false pride for a different state-hood in me

The history of the Chera’s, Chola’s and Pandaya’s in me

The ability to take a borrowed culture and make it mine in me

The hidden Tamilian in me

 

Is it all in the looks?

Mirror Mirror On The Wall

Who is the fairest of them all?

I’ve noticed that attractive people people tend to have the world treat them nicer for the most part in comparison to their unattractive counterparts. Often times, this subtle attention goes unrecognized until the very same person who is at the receiving end of the benefits is perhaps older or lets their appearance fade and no longer receives its benefits.  Now, I don’t mean to imply that good looking people get by in the world solely on their looks , because this is indeed not the case. However, I do find that attractive people tend to take small things like,  smiles from strangers, drinks at the bar, free tickets, people opening the door or even attention for granted. I’d like to find out from you’ll though on whether you think, attractive people receive more attention? Is life as an average looking person unappealing to all of us?

 

Bring on the 70′s

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme the 1970′s again. Where else can we get,

** Woodstock * Abba* Tennis as a spectator sport * Bob Marley* Bell Bottoms* Big Sunglasses* Free Love* Bandanas*  Flower Power * Rock On * The Beatles mania * Platform Shoes * Civil Rights* VCR’s  **

While I have you in the 1970s moods, listen to this:

 

A for “Agnee”

So, I discovered a new Indian band called Agnee (courtesy my sister) and they happen to be frickin awesome. This is exactly the kind of Indian music I like to listen to from Indie bands. Let’s hope they keep the good work going.

One of my favorite songs from their album is love song and it also happened to be the theme for MTV Splitsvilla (*Rolls eyes, I know*)

The band also came up with the theme for MTV roadies:

If you would like to sample their music, go check out their songs on the website. You can listen to all of them without requiring a download.

 

A journey back to 1984

The world of 1984 as described by George Orwell in his book takes us to a place in time where human thought and action are controlled by the government forces, referred to as the omnipresent and omnipotent, “Big Brother”. Orwell describes a world where freedom and free will are things of the past. The book of course, is a well-known classic and is often quoted in contexts where the free will of citizenry has been challenged by any establishment or order. If you are wondering why I am discussing this book today, the answer should be but obvious. The age of progressive thought fueled by advances in technology is now coming to a full circle and considering the progress that has been made in the past with the aid of technology especially during the renaissance and industrial ages, one would have expected the advances of today’s age to bestow upon all of us; more choices, less constraints and finally political and national independence, both in thought and in action.

Think about this for a minute, would you? Why is it that people yearn for things like liberty, equality and fraternity, so much so that they have bloodied the earth fighting for it? I ask this question because these utopian ideals have now been reduced to abstract adjectives. If we were to study our past, we’d notice that our philosophers, poets and founding fathers romanticized the concepts of freedom and liberty because they envisioned living in a society where all citizenry would enjoy the freedom and liberty to live their life in a manner that they desired. To be clear, since freedom and liberty can mean different things to different people, let’s dissect the meaning of these 2 words. So what is freedom? How is freedom related to liberty? Liberty conveys the idea of the right or the ability of the individual to do what he wants. Freedom on the other hand is a word which contains inbuilt restrictions. My freedom to swing my hands stops at my neighbour’s nose. A free society contains individuals who are free to do what they do, whilst respecting the freedoms of others. What distinguishes a free society from other societies is the nature and extent of the legal and customary restrictions on freedom.

It was this quest for freedom and liberty that eventually lead to the creation of the nation-state and also went on to spawn the model for a functional democratic society. The role of the regulatory body called the government in this regard was to simply ensure that the country was well governed and that its citizens enjoyed the rights and the opportunities promised to them by their constitution. However, this Utopian ideology of governance and democracy has failed us spectacularly today and this I argue is not because of any party of policy primarily because the electoral body that is the government seems to prefer to work in accordance with corporate houses to maximize their own individual business interests than care about the needs of their people. In addition, it has also become the norm for most governments to pass laws and regulations under the guise of protectionism that not only gives them more power to control the freedom of their citizens but also takes away from the public the rights vested to them by their constitution. A good example of this is the Prevention of Terrorism Act (POTA) in India that was passed in 2002 that does give the government to imprison people suspect of terrorist activities. This is similar to the Patriots Act in the US which was passed in 2001 by George Bush that gives the law enforcement and intelligence agencies in the US more power to prevent acts of terrorism or to apprehend terrorists. These laws or legislation’s are no longer unique to any country or democracy because we are seeing the same problems all over. What we are also now witnessing as a part of this larger trend is the use of similar measures or tactics to deal with these issues on a daily basis, be it in the use of body scanners at airports or tapping phone conversations and emails. Control of information, stealth and secrecy seem to be the key words as far as government operations go today. The media which is supposed to play the role of the watch dog in this regard and ensure that the distinctions between the private and public worlds are maintained has failed us completely. Therefore, it is no surprise, that common folk turn to organizations like wiki-leaks when they have information that can make a difference rather than go to news organizations like fox news or the BBC because it is quite apparent to the rest of the public that this news will never see the light of the day otherwise.

Therefore, what do countries do when confronted with information that could potentially lower their PR? Well, they censor it. So be it,  ”China controlling flow of information into the country” or Britian, “lying to its public about the existence of WMD in Iraq” or even the censoring of human rights abuses in Iraq and Afganistan by the US all these and many more stories remind us that each new some government is taking away the facade of control from the rational citizen while giving us the assurance that, “Big Brother knows what’s best”? But does he and if he truly did, would we see cases like the arrest of Julian Assange or the launch of mandates that prevent ordinary citizens from filming public officials? I personally believe that no is the answer and things will only get worse. We are not too far away from a time where we will see more and more restrictions placed on us in the name of privacy, security and national interest. Perhaps, this is the pessimist in me speaking but I don’t believe that information will be free and accessible for much longer. For example, the internet which started out as a military project will perhaps go back to being just that or we will see a situation where democracies will start banning specific content on an ad-hoc basis. Let’s wait and watch shall we?

Edited to add:

After I wrote this post, I read that France passed a law on December 17th 2010  which gives them the authority to blacklist internet sites that they feel do not make appropriate reading material for French Citizens.